Redbull is awesome!

“I wish they all could be California, girls”

Next stop on the sales tour, San Francisco!!

I’ll be staying in SF for the week of April 17th, which is absolutely fabulous (in a non-fag way). The women there will be fawning at the prospect of a handsome, young, strapping gentleman, like myself, to infiltrate the scene, push all the fags aside and give them an intense vaginal bruising, like they’ve never experienced before! Andy Caban who likes to kill at places like Carolines - on April 19th!!

Unfortunately, I’ll have my hands full with some Nor-Cal poon tang and my friend Jim Beam, but per haps you can support Andy in my absence.

Later,

D’ Nice

The past 2 weeks have been insane, where I covered 3 cities in 2 weeks. I’ve probably created and destroyed more relationships in the last week, than I have in my 26 years of existence.

Since I started traveling for work this year, my whole attitude towards people in general has changed. I take more of a vested interest in getting to know strangers, as it gets lonely on the road, you find yourself in hotel bars, drinking scotch talking to strangers. But these are the most real conversations you can possibly have, you’ll probably never see them again. I’ve sort of mirrored this approach to people in general, which I should have done years ago, as it’s gotten me tons of pussey.

I tend to gravitate towards easy topics, like sports, relationships, careers and ask them a lot of questions to make them feel comfortable. Then after other people observe how nice you are to stranger, they jump in the conversation and want to get involved. Why? Because you’re a nice person.

I’ve met some really great people on this trip, shared sob stories, laughed, got laid, it was a great trip….. I haven’t felt this alive in a long time.

I woke up this morning with a bitemark on my shoulder and an interesting email; (start from the bottom up). Thank god for the innovative telecom industry, supplying hot drunk girls in bars with text messaging equipment, so they can express their true feelings in real time; There were quite a few, but this one was the best.

—–Original Message—–
From: “Sheila xxxxxxx”
Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2006 23:22:15
To:”Dan Herman”
Subject: Re: Hey Sweetie

If you look the same as when i met you I would fuck your brains out tonight

On 3/25/06, Sheila xxxxxxx wrote:

I am bombed…wish u were here
On 3/25/06, Dan Herman wrote:

Nope, I’m really exhausted from work. I did 3 cities in 2 weeks gotta relax.
I should tell you, I am not single. Maybe you would like my friend, he’s a pretty boy and very single.

Would def like 2 talk again so I can recall our conversation, you don’t like the phone do you?

—–Original Message—–From: “Sheila xxxxxxx”
Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2006 19:59:38
To:Dan Herman
Subject: Re: Hey Sweetie

got plans with another girl, huh
On 3/25/06, Dan Herman wrote:

I’m sorry, I can’t make it tonight.
Have fun
D

—–Original Message—–
From: “Sheila xxxxxxxx”
Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2006 19:09:15
Subject: Re: Hey Sweetie

Listen I’m on my way out….my friends and I are gonna be at a bar called the Stone Turtle on 27/5th. Please stop by, tell them you are there with Angie…

From: Sheila xxxxxxx
To: Dan Herman
Date: Mar 24, 2006 4:33 PM
Subject: Hey Sweetie

Hey good looking,

Sorry it’s been a while, but i lost your e-mail and just found it while cleaning my room. So how have you been? Let me know that this e-mail finds you well and that you are doing good. I look forward to hearing form you.

The feeling that hit me after observing all the perfectly sculpted females at the club/restaurant Vertigo.

The mafia style ambiance and mind numbing eye candy, provide an aphrodisiacal experience, including great food, service and heavy drinks.

For those traveling outward from NYC, who are looking to tap into a new level of talent, Vertigo comes highly recommended.

I know I’ve been bitching a lot about work lately, so I’m not going to do that anymore. I’ve been really cranky from the inscessent working and partying with no sleep has made me a cranky little bitch.

This week was awesome, and it was capped off with a great night out with some old friends at Plan B. Great music + tons of hotties + good friends + very heavy drinks = a great night out. I’m paying for it now and feel compelled to get my liver enzymes checked.

I’ll be flying out to Chicago for some meetings next week and will RSVP to this shindig.

I’ve got some funny stories to share, per haps I’ll update them this weekend when I have time.

More importantly, there are two events which you should all take part in.

The angriest blog in america goes mainstream.

Crashtest comic tries out for comedy central.

Please support the dream of what these two are persuing, as it’s a rarity that someone gets to do what they love for a living.

D-Nice-Phat-Stacks

RIP - Biggie and Tupac

I feel like my career is taking over my life. I can’t differentiate between my job, personal life or even my dreams. I feel like I’m always handling all three at the same time, all the time. I have fucking dreams that I’m in some corporate boardroom, checking my cell phone to see where my friends will be after work. It’s the same dream every night, but it parallel’s my reality. Freaky.

There’s really nothing that differentiates a salesman at work, at a bar or even on a date, you’ve been associated with the stigma of someone who changes people’s minds for a living.

I’m happy with it – it works. It could be worse, I could be stuck behind a desk all day…..

It takes a strong person to survive the catestrophic events, which I call my weekend, which have become quite costly.

1. Car getting towed - $200
2. New key and transmitter - $175
3. New Sirius Sportster radio - $150
4. New passenger side front tire - $125
5. New rear spoiler - $75

I figured that in facing these fees, I should exhaust every opportunity to start gaining suplimental income to subsidize my losses. I spent 3 hrs online at FullTiltPoker and won $1200 (profit) in a cash game a $2/4 no limit hold em table. This was also after I kicked my friend Ron’s ass on a $20 heads up event, that I won on the first hand no less.

When all else fails in life, play poker online. It’s the best thing since the stock market.

I concluded this weekends affairs with a lovely Italian dinner with my fam. Even though it was my b-day, this was a rare opportunity to gain the attention of my always volatile 22 year old brother.

My bro is the man! He’s grown to be a person with exceptional tolerance, compassion and intelligence. He’s just graduated college and is facing a crossroads in life, trying to figure out what he’s going to do. When I was 19, I was faced with the same challenges/life decisions. Unfotunately, I never had an older brother to seek advice and my father was working 14 hour days, while my mother supported him and kept the family together. Over time, I amassed a cache of mentors, men who I’ve grown to love as older brothers (in a heterosexual way) who went above and beyond in helping through lifes greatest challenges. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

So at this point, I decided that I’m going to do the same for my bro, I mean, I really owe it to him. Don’t get me wrong, we have the most wonderful parents a kid can ask for, however, even they are from the old school and as far as giving advice in surviving the corporate machine, they simply cannot. They want the best for him and they trust that I will do the right thing in protecting him and helping him tap into, what I think, is a tremendous amount of potential and business acumen.

Whenever you advise someone on something so important, you need to really need to think about whether or not you would follow your own advice or else, you’re a hypocrite. Considering the aforementioned, I had to ask myself if I needed to step up and improve my career? And the answer is yes, it’s time to step up. I just finished sending off a letter to my boss in London, asking for a promotion. I really hope it goes through and I can get past these ugly barriers of corporate beauracracy.

Brotherhood is awesome, I can’t wait till this man surpasses me and we can start partying on his dime.

I had fun last night, but I’m not in my normal, post drinking, slap happy mood.

It’s a shame that the fond memories of my 26th will be overshadowed by the last 2 hours of the evening I spent in a police barrack, with a shackle on my ankle attached to the bench I was sitting on.

I’m not upset, angry, regretful or even mad about what happened. But I’m really not in the mood to write about anything funny right now.

No one is more desperate than a drug addict. The lengths these people will go to get their fix is phenomenal. When someone succumbs to a transient lifestyle because of their addiction, it’s amazing to me how manageable their life becomes in feeding their addiction, compared to the mismanagement of their life in general.

In business administration class, we were taught one of the fundamental elements of business, the opportunity cost . An opportunity cost is the value of ones decision, compared the value of the alternative option. When faced with a critical business or life decision, a reasonable person would weigh the value of both options and choose the option with greater value. The alternative is measured as the opportunity cost.

When a crackhead decides to smash someone’s car window and steal their radio, they weigh out the options of being legit and earning money vs. risking their freedom to get high and committing a crime.

In choosing the different vehicles available to getting high, they are faced with 2 options;
1. Working 8 hours, getting paid, then exchanging funds for rocks.
vs.
2. Commit a crime, steal a radio and resell it, which will take less than 8 hours and is hardly considered work at all.

In valuing the situation, the cost will be;

1. Working at an hourly job, expending minimal energy and being bored
vs.
2. Committing a crime, risking ones freedom over the prospect of not having to work

Last night, some crackhead smashed the window of my car and stole my $50 Sirius Starmate radio. This person obviously values not working, vs. earning an honest dollar. The opportunity cost is getting high without the risk of getting pinched.

Here’s the better option;

Working at McDonalds for 1 day, will earn more cash and allow you to smoke more rocks, without exposing yourself to being pinched. In most jails, you will not have access to crack, because you’ll be broke anyway. So in essence, you’ll be better off working at Mickey D’s, vs. the alternative which is sucking dick for crack in jail.

Stop stealing from me bitches!!! Damn!